Over the last several weeks, I have actually made attempts at wearing makeup. At first, my skin was breaking out, my eyes were constantly itching and watering, and my face looked like a drag queen's nightmare. Now that I've learned some stuff, it's a lot better.
1. Makeup basically has a six month expiration period. If it's more than six months old, replace it.
2. To do cat eye makeup, use a credit card (or your ugly old drivers license) to get those nice geometric lines.
3. Peroxide is great for temporarily hiding blackheads, but a sterilized bobby pin will remove them in a pus-laden blaze of glory.
4. If you accidentally overuse makeup, put translucent powder over it. Most people won't notice.
5. Contouring is actually way easier than YouTube makes it look. Just make a 3 with the darker shade and a C with the highlighter.
6. Really actually clean your brushes after every use. A gentle antibacterial cleanser and hot water is all you need. Make sure to air dry.
7. If you don't believe 6, try it once.
8. Spend a little more on brushes so they'll last a long time.
9. Sex toy cleaner is perfect for cleaning brushes since it's designed for things that come in direct contact with the most sensitive areas of the body.
10. Throw away every latex makeup sponge you've ever used. They are disgusting and will leave you all streaky and gross.
11. Eyebrows are EVERYTHING. Groom them.
12. Heat your mascara up before you use it; it will save you from bitching about clumpy lashes later. Just stick it in your bra before you start doing your makeup.
13. Use an all-natural soap as a makeup remover. Yes, I do mean wash your face.
14. Unscented baby wipes are amazing at removing eye makeup.
15. Actually scrub your face in small circles. This seems arbitrary but makes a huge difference.
16. Primer is amazing. Use it.
17. Moisturize like a good girl.
19. Weirdly enough, a children's toothbrush with a little bit of your normal face wash can make all the difference between your lipstick lasting five minutes or all day.
20. Lip liner is your friend.
21. Use as much makeup as you want. It's your face, and makeup is supposed to be fun.
